It The Journey, Not The Destination

I’m slowly working on my Plan B to transition from a corporate job in the valley to a full time creative entity of my own. This is beyond scary and exciting all at once. SO many of us are trapped a false sense of who we are and what we are meant to do in life. I have known my entire life I was a Creative but never really saw myself for who I truly was until the last ten years.

When I was 17 and deciding on colleges, I begged to go to FIDM or Academy of Art design/art school and the instant response was no. Was I crazy!!?? I’d be begging for coins on a street corner, I was told. At that point I was crushed and buried the idea of who I really was or wanted to be. I’d never survive. The negative thoughts took over and the dream was crushed. I saw an amazing interview with Jim Carrey where he discusses how we take an instant in our life and develop an entire character around it that can forever mold who we are in a false sense of our own perceptions. I find that all too fascinating and true. I was told I’d go to Business college, get a degree in business, and work in an office. So that’s what I did. I developed an entire character around that single moment that defined my entire future ahead of me. Friends, family, teachers, colleagues, etc. all told me along the way “You’re so creative” and constantly said I should pursue something in a creative field but I was done with school and needed to support myself, so the false character I built, continued forward. I wish looking back I had fought harder and for who I was, not listened, and stood by my ground that I deserved to be happy in making a living. In my launch post, I mentioned how I was judged for my business path and job hopping days but it’s not as if I didn’t know deep down inside that I was just miserable in the field I was working in. If you’re they type to critique someone for what they are doing in their life, please stop. You have no idea the impact those negative, hurtful comments can have and it is not constructive or supportive to judge someone who is just unclear of who they are or where they want to go. I didn’t come out of the womb with a guidebook to my life, so it’s a stepping stone for me, day by day to discover who I am. So, I worked a management/communications tailored path for many, many years and have gotten to the top of that chain now. I can run a business and manage a team with my eyes closed and while running backwards. I cannot say that the path or the roles have given me deep fulfillment or joy, just steady income which is nice (no doubt), but in every role I sit at the desk and have contemplated my secret dream of creating.

For anyone who has these same thoughts, about whatever it is you are passionate about, I stand by you in saying you are not alone. I refuse to give up. Don’t give up! I’m near 40 and turning a new leaf. There is no such thing as too old or not enough time – you just have to do it. So, do it. I have had to take design courses off and on, at the Academy and otherwise (ironically), at snail speed sometimes due to adult life commitments but I refuse to bury my passion. Living a life that is unfulfilling, un-meant, and not purposeful is not my goal any longer. I write this publicly to confront my own sense of self to hopefully connect with others who share this similar journey I have been on.

I am eager, excited, nervous and scared to leave the corporate world but am grateful for the opportunities it has given me on the business spectrum of life. I know I will take these experiences with me into my own venture and apply them towards the firms success. I believe every step, whether a passion or not, is a building block to the future. So, I will write on here about this transition experience, as well as my passionate finds and delights, as a log of my personal journey. I look forward to connecting with anyone in a similar place or who has transitioned in life to a new spot.

After all, it’s the journey and not the destination that ultimately builds us in life. Eager and excited to publicly announce this transition and change. The winds have been blowing for a long time now and I’m taking the leap.